I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?