y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.