I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.