u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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