Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
