Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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