I met the friendliest cop last night
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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