Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
