This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
a search helicopter?!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
