Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?