WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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