once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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