i can't believe i had my finger in that
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of