Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.