I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making