It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.