Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.