We're like a lot better than the average bears
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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