Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?