in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.