Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.

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  (619): no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row. http://tfl.nu/cyuc
  Replies (9) Good night (1771) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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  (865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54
  Replies (18) Good night (11072) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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  (610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be
  Replies (9) Good night (4143) Bad night (836)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5112) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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  (213): Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain. http://tfl.nu/121u
  Replies (3) Good night (2183) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.

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  (920): I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night. http://tfl.nu/zpas
  Replies (11) Good night (3676) Bad night (2006) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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  (907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq
  Replies (11) Good night (3265) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

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  (907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y
  Replies (7) Good night (1934) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

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  (901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf
  Replies (11) Good night (4782) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2078) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.

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  (561): We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/9buc
  Replies (18) Good night (671) Bad night (2149) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now

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  (604): yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now http://tfl.nu/b5id
  Replies (8) Good night (378) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?

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  (513): I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete? http://tfl.nu/ue0i
  Replies (3) Good night (1083) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.

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  (956): So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom. http://tfl.nu/5pcj
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Can you see in?

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  (773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt

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