I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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