Banned from zoo.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30