he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.