I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you didnt know i had herpes?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think I sprained my soul last night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?