i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.