Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think my mom watched the whole time
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please