She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms