I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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