Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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