The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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