youre lurking in front of me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize