the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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