The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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