Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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