I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
