I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize