Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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