you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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