This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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