I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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