Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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