I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
