i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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