Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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