i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize