We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
