She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist