i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.