I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize