I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize