Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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