Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
