Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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