There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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