I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
