similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
