So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
