Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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