The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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