Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize