One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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