planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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