We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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