I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So many bounce houses so little time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize